George Bush's iPod

The president is a stupid dick. I'm sorry, but now we have conclusive proof.

Before I get into the contents of the actual iPod, let me say that whichever bright-boy neocon hanging around the White House had the idea that releasing the songlist in Bush's rotation would ingratiate him with the young people of this country and show him to be in touch with "what's happening now" needs to be fired immediately. Nobody that stupid should be anywhere near the President of the United States. The notion that a vision of W with those dumb white earplugs, playing air-guitar to "My Sharona" would do anything but scare the shit out of Americans shows either insanity or chronic ketamine abuse. What's next, a picture of Bush making Rush Limbaugh an honorary narcotics officer?

Now, the famous list:
First of all, where does Bush get the time to hunt down the Joni Mitchell album that's got her cover of Buddy Holly's "You're So Square"? Does he have John Negroponte checking the cutout bins at the local used record store? "Don't tell me you can't find Kinks Kronicles, John. Did you check under the "D's" for "Davies"?"

George Jones
This is a no-brainer. When Dubya was in his hard-drinkin', coke-snortin', AWOLin' days, like any of us would do, he learned to love George Jones. Who better to have on the juke box when the waitress just called you a weenie, your coke dealer won't take a money market check, and your dad just doesn't understand why he absolutely has to call that lieutenant major in the Air National Guard to explain why he can't be at training the week before and after the Super Bowl.

John Fogerty - Centerfield
Picture it: young Shrub, driving through the oilfields of West Texas with a bottle of Lonestar in his crotch, listening to "Who'll Stop the Rain" and knowing that, goddammit, someday he'd be the one to stop the rain.

The Knack - My Sharona
The dopey spoiled college-boy party animal national anthem. Picture the man who would be our leader pumping his fist singing "My, my, my, my YEAH!"

Crystal Gayle
Man, girls like that just never gave the poor prez-to-be the time of day. And Laura won't give him any back-door play. It's gotta be lonely at the top. But now, he can get on the phone (well, he's gotta have somebody else dial), and like THAT he can get Crystal on the phone. Even have her play for him at the White House. Goddam! I like being the President!

Assorted Country Singers
The Kennebunkport Kowboy. It's hard to live it down when there are pictures out there that show you in a Yale beanie leading cheers on the sidelines. But give the man credit, he's trying.